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Hi Kim,
ReplyDeleteI thought you might be interested to hear about my experience after the workshop. You will remember, I think, that I mentioned in the feedback session how, in the course of the final exercise, I found myself unexpectedly moved to tears. This, very briefly, is what happened afterwards. I am still working on understanding it al.
Well,as I drove back to Redruth, my mind was full of disjointed words and phrases and I was feeling emotionally unsettled. I would have liked some time just to sit and think but, as you know, I had to go directly to work. After work, around nine o'clock, I joined my partner at The Melting Pot cafe - as had been arranged previously - but, by then, I was extremely tired and feeling quite fragile and tearful. I felt quite isolated from what was going, even a little angry and resentful.
Later still, having talked a little to my partner, I realised that what was bubbling away under the surface was actually a lot of sadness and anger relating to an abusive incident I suffered as a child. I believe that I had 'connected' with these feelings through the work that we did on giving voice to our inner Hag/Crone. I found this work very powerful at the time and I am also very aware that I have always had issues around expressing my anger. I believe that, in the course of this workshop session, some real - if painful - progress was made.
In fact, to tell the absolute truth, I became very emotional and, late on Wednesday night, the Hag was very much in evidence and insisting on having her say. It wasn't exactly pleasant but it WAS a very relevant experience.
This morning, I woke up with red, stinging eyes and a very bad headache. It has taken me most of the day to recover my equilibrium. It was only after two or three hours that I thought to look at the words I had scribbled down at the end of the workshop. They were as follows:
'Rock the cradle between two pillars, one of fire, the other of water. Hail tomorrow. Let the past be done with. Where the light beckons, travel towards the dawning. Glow go worm, craw, slither, take your legless body all the way to the great ocean. See the pale stars turn away from before, behind, besides.'
Interestingly, when I tried to read these words aloud, I was unable to do so. I got as far as 'crawl, slither' and was once again reduced to tears. My conclusion? That already the work has pt me in touch with personal material that, previously, I have been unable to write about. Difficult and painful, certainly. But,to my mind, a good thing.
Hope to see you next week. Abi
Hi Abi
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the feedback from our first workshop. I’m amazed by how hidden aspects of ourselves can leap forward and out into the now – an opportunity to be heard. Like you, I feel better for having these things out, acknowledged, witnessed. The words you wrote immediately after the workshop were so powerful. I wonder how the workshops will affect your writing.
One of my challenges in performance is to allow authentic aspects of myself to emerge yet not let them overpower my creative intent and communication. That will take lots of practice I think but this is my interest. How to take authentic movement, vocalisation and, if possible bel canto singing to weave into dynamic operatic creations.
Like Jonathan Kay used to say at his fooling workshops “this work isn’t therapy, it’s just incidentally therapeutic”.
I felt great! very energised....I loved it...I am loving being able to express myself through movement and vocal expression in a safe environment. I really had a strong connection with my inner child who was atlast able to express herself and to have some fun! It was also a pleasure for me and I feel honoured to see and feel other woman in their vulnerability connecting with themselves in different ways. I did notice my energy levels changing depending on what we where doing and how connected I was at the time depending on what we were doing or looking at within ourselves.
ReplyDeleteChristina X
Hi Christina
ReplyDeleteSo glad you loved it, especially as you've been challenged by that flu.
I was bushed all day Thursday! But feel much more connected today.
See you next week at HfC.
Kim
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